Make me a web app

NO OFFSHORE RESOURCE UK ONLY

READ THE REQUIREMENTS DONT APPLY IF YOU DONT SATISFY THE REQUIREMENTS. DON'T SEND ME A MESSAGE SAYING " I have read your requirements when you clearly have NOT!!!" THIRD UPDATE...NO OFFSHORE - UK ONLY

I have an excel spreadsheet that I need converted in to web app
1. Register for an account
2. Complete a set of questions (randomly selected from the questions set)
3. Receive a graphical summary (needs to be built)
4. Receive an email of those results
5. Receive a link to a landing page to buy the full functionality


I can share an example of the questions, give you dev access to SQL on my hosting provider and I can share current graphical display but this will need some dev for the web app to look better.

REQUIREMENTS
MUST be based in UK
MUST BE CERT 4 or HIGHER
MUST have a portfolio or at least ONE live example to share
MUST be available to complete the task in coming 2 weeks
MUST not outsource the dev to offshore

NO OFFSHORE COMPANIES PLEASE ALL REQUESTS WILL BE DENIED