Review and edit a short script for a travel website video intro

Hello,

I am looking for someone with strong insight into the travel sector, and writing/marketing skills to review a short script that I have prepared for a introduction video (1 min) to a travel website Fanmaps.com.

The task is mainly to provide feedback on the script, and if necessary make changes in order to make it more straightforward and engaging. Plus, proofreading for any grammar mistakes.

Please find the lastest version of the script in the attachments. More details and the animation flow will be provided as well.

Thanks.
Andri