1000 word article to reword and sound better
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- Proposals: 9
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Description
Topic: Personal Experience
Tone: Instructional/Educational
Extensive research needed: no
Extra notes: Below are 3 samples of what I felt like writing. I would just like to view a few different expressions of my whole document. I would like to see more descriptive, and more intelligent versions of my piece. Ideally the writer will research a bit more about general Indian culture and healthcare, and improve the informational angle of this piece:
11th January 2017 I found out my Aunty in a rural village in Rajahstan has passed away. Even more shocking was that my Father had been dealing with it remotely from our suburbian London residence for more than a few days, and left no hints of this to his son. This piece will go on to explain what exactly his role was in the matter, and the cultural and socio-economic factors regarding healthcare for people in India.
His nephew had phoned a few days earlier, and my Father remarked to him at how surprised he was that their family had decided to make contact with him. The nephew replied in a sad tone that the family were gathered around and had collectively wanted to inform him that his sister was ill. My Father immediately suggested she go to the hospital, and not any local one but one that was, I quote, 'better than Ganganagar's'. Ganganagar is the district's capital city. He was informed that my Aunty had been visiting the local village doctor for a while, I assume a minimum of a few weeks, and had been taking painkillers since.
1st world environments, and cultures, are completely different, and models such as healthcare are regularly innovated and updated, and still have very many flaws! Yet practices such as what my family have access to employ a completely archaic form of healthcare in comparison. The only real conclusion I can come up with is of an epidemic of narrow-mindedness, in both intra-culture and inter-culture, and hence it is a systemic problem that at best would only ever change if other integral economic and cultural systems could synchronously change with it.
Sim J.
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Sim,
Are you looking to present this thing in a story format or a research article format? Both are different and let me tell you both are possible. With a little showing, you can make any incident into a compelling and engaging story that moves people. -
I am a Indian and wish to work with you for the mount you fixed, just specify the time that will be provided.
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Do you really expect to attract an expert writer for $10??
Sim J.12 Jan 2017I am not keen on attracting people who are so money-oriented in the first place. Nonetheless I also do not care so much about the price. If you want to strive for higher pay, I suggest offering something apart from futile, dead-end remarks.
James R. C.12 Jan 2017You are obviously clueless as to how to work with professional writers
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Please specify the timescale needed for this?
Sim J.12 Jan 2017Hello, no rush at all
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To be perfectly honest, I don't see much wrong with the samples you've provided. I don't think therefore that I could add much to your writing. Your rates are very low however.
Sim J.12 Jan 2017Thank you that is very helpful and kind
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Try ENTRY level.
Sim J.11 Jan 2017Please explain
Anna P.11 Jan 2017You are paying ENTRY level rates. So you are unlikely to attract 'expert' freelancers.