Publicist wanted

Writer looking for budding Max Clifford

I have a book which I have written which I would like you to publicise. My writing is fresh, funny and irreverent and I have a unique, individual style. I am realistic enough to know that no matter how well I write, I am not going to sell unless people have heard of me. The book is already published and is available on Amazon, as I publish online through Lulu.com.

You would of course get to read the book - you have to believe in me or you cannot do this job. The content is witchcraft, humour and sex. As a starting point, my own area is celebrating 400 years of the Pendle Witches, but my efforts to jump on their bandwagon have come to precisely zilch. I am not a salesperson, I respect people too much and hate pressuring people. I do believe in myself and my work and am willing to do my bit at promotion. I will do whatever you organise. I am not shy and have done many mad things in my time - reading poetry naked in a jacuzzi for one thing (though I am past that now). I have made many appearances on tv and radio (not connected with writing) and stood for parliament (not my idea, I was asked to front for the Anti-Feds - now Ukip).

The deal is this - I am living on a low income and have no money. If you will work on the marketing and publicity, I will split everything 50-50 with you - no quibbles. However far it goes, you will get 50%, because without some help I will get nowhere. There is the making of a tv series in this book.

Though I am thinking of one book in particular, I have other books which are just as funny and sexy as this one, and I have just completed part 1 of my autobiography which is going down a treat with everyone who reads it - can’t put it down they say - up til 2 in the morning can’t stop reading. Though I am only asking you to promote one book, the deal doesn’t stop there. If the other books are taken up by publishers, or begin to sell in quantity on their own, you get half the profit from these also. Put simply, whatever I make through writing, even new stuff, you get half.

I would expect you to put a time limit on your efforts and I leave it up to you to set that. It would be like an opt-out clause which leaves me free to find another publicist and you to take on other clients.

Let me know if you are interested.