Deliver a 400-word essay on any topic in one business day

This is exactly what it says it is: I can compose a well-written, researched, entirely original and error free essay on any topic within one business day. The level of professional comprehension may vary--I'm not a fluid dynamics engineer--but the quality will not. I don't need any credit, either, this is strictly ghost writing for your website, blog, profile, or whichever other thing.