US BASED ONLY - Final proofread of short Christmas/Railroad graphic novel text

Hello writers!

I am a Los Angeles based film producer and screenwriter with multiple film and television credits, though the novel structure is new to me.

I have written a short children's story about a Christmas adventure on an old steam train (think Polar Express but better!) and given it to two (excellent) freelancers through PPH who have corrected issues related to punctuation, homonyms, grammar and syntax.

This is to say that the "heavy lifting" is already done.

I would like one final perspective before publishing.

Specifically, I would like confirmation that dialog is being punctuated correctly for use in a novel, and that proper nouns are used correctly just in case I have missed any capitalizations.

I will attach the first page of text to give an idea of tone and scope of work.

Both PPH proofreaders completed the work within an hour, so I am certain this project will take under an hour.

This is really simple stuff, but it is important to have a "last look" before we go to press.

Experience proofreading/editing novels is required.
Knowledge of Christmas lore is required.
Knowledge of railroad operations is a plus, but not required.
Experience in the children's book space is a HUGE plus but not required.