Short and very funny description for a bottle of shower gel

We have a series of shower gels. Instead of normal, boring description we need a super-funny description/story/any sort of text, that would be engaging. It does not really have to relate to taking a shower that much, but it can.

Those 3 gels, that we already have in English I attach, to show you the vibe of the product.

The description need to be understandable and funny for a person with intermediate command of English.

The thing is, we need to receive it quite quickly, so I would prefer a person whom I could contact by the phone.