Sharp, Witty Humourist Required

Kind of writing: Humor
Topic: Sharp, Witty Humourist Required
Tone: Witty/Sharp
Extra notes: A humorist (witty) to provide 20 captions for 20 headlines/related cartoon images. Could lead to being daily for the right individual but for now 5 people will be selected on a trial basis. Work would be sent to you in the afternoon and you be expected to send your contributions to us by 9am the next morning. The budget for this job is £20.00 i.e. £1.00 per caption.

So in a conversation format, you will presume another person telling you the gist of the headline and you will give a witty response. In a caption format, the headline will be narrative and you will be expected to come up with the witty response.

Below is a typical headline and link to story. Please provide your take on it when responding to post.

Pregnant beggar with toddler and 'Help' message on cardboard sign is not all she seems...
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/pregnant-beggar-toddler-help-message-4614294