Need to doctor my Screenwriting Pilot - The Younger Years

**PRICE NEGOTIABLE DEPENDING ON EXPERIENCE**

Hi guys, I have a pilot episode that I have finished and sent it to a Channel 4 editor who has gave me feedback. I need someone to help me to address the script based on the feedback provided. This will involve re-writing in places.

C4 Feedback

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1iTXqDaYsxLnRMLQmhktrXuJGNPI6DApx/view?usp=sharing

The Younger Years - Inspired by The Inbetweeners/ The Office and American Pie. When I am happy with the pilot I will 100% convert into a cartoon with voice actors.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1fIpUVcrBO5vOgSG9oj8j9lGBtm9SkIheQ54u2R9U-O4/edit?usp=sharing

Attached feedback. UK based experienced writers only, please!!!

The end result of this project is to have something ready to go.

LOGLINE:
The Younger Years is a British teen comedy about four teenage friends in the last year of Green Oak Academy. Mike the aspiring artist, Harry the charming, attention-seeking actor, Ashley the stubborn clothes designer and Paul the awkward app-maker have big ambitions for their passion but their insecurities or personalities get in their way.

PLOT:
Mike, Harry, Paul and Ashley are in their last year at Green Oak Academy. They’ve grown up together and now they’re top of the pile at school but soon everything will change. They’ve got big ambitions but the next two years are less clear. Are they going to stay in school or throw themselves headlong into their planned careers?

The four boys all have something that holds them back from achieving their dreams: Mike is a really bad artist but he thinks otherwise. Paul wants to be a start-up entrepreneur but his confidence holds him back, Ashley wants to have his own clothing range but can’t work well with people, and Harry is battling for attention as a struggling actor.

Mike has another problem - Jennifer. They have known each other since they were ten and he has always liked her. However, it’s hard to persuade her to see him as a mature, capable man when she has seen him every awkward, squeaky-voiced step of the way through puberty. Mike wants her to believe he has his shit together, but that’s difficult when even he’s not sure he has.