Comedy writing and help on changing my content

UI am writing this as a more comprehensive post so that i do not have to type responses to all, individually.

Firstly and important, because EVENTUALLY i would like a written show as this character. I was a London Police officer,

I write for many acts and act doctor. I do know, however that someone else looking in can often have angles we don't think of.
For that reason i may choose, through this company to commission a few writers for collaborative writing. This is an urgent project and within reason I a m prepared to pay whatever is needed.

I work for cruise ships world wide.
2 shows are often required.
My first show is very strong,
My 2nd, is much weaker and needs to be as strong as show 1.

The only reason it is weaker, is because I plan to introduce instruments etc. I play Trumpet Piano and Ukelele.

I am trying to finish a comedy song on Ukelele, all around the fact that i am a Londoner. The song is called cause I'm a londoner... any ideas ?

I am a clean, but cheeky show. Along the lines of Benny hill, les Dawson tommy Cooper etc, all rolled into one. Where I excell in comedy is the timing. Ted Robbins (phoenix Lights) amongst other great acts have all said that is where my comedy works so well. It is very much, old school comedy variety. This is a almost a new concept again because as we know, all this seems to come full circle. It won't be very long now until, all the old style type of simple comedy that is not rude or offensive will be the fashion. It is certainly a fact on ships and will be for TV again, very soon.

On show 2 I want story telling on differences between kids nowadays to years ago. When I met my girlfriend etc, who is now my wife....... beautiful but very large, she fell out of bed both sides...... blah blah

I want to talk about policing and possibly the difference in policing now. Of course, I know that difference but funny gags or stories you guys suggest may help.

I want some links and lines into playing the trumpet.
The Ukelele song

Referencing to comedy, old school new school.

It MUST be able to be understood buy, ALL nationalities
AMERICA UK, AUSTRALIA, CANADA In particular.

I Have flown 87 flights in 7 months so would like to make references to travel.

Different cultures we meet on the way.
Any links in between these.

How I find comedy working best on these situations are 4 5 6 or even 7 min sections but an obvious link to the next section and of tern refering to an earlier part,

LIKE A SPIDERS WEB moving away from a subject t and then back in.

I will help and direct more, as I am working with one or a few of you guys, and this may be just the start to bigger projects.

through fear of losing the work, please respect I will not be able to tell this persons name, but have been asked to write for this VERY FAMOUS, comic, tnis will be for TV and in sitcom form too, so I will need a team of writers ti help. Please forgive my direct approach, the last thing I am is a person who believes he knows everything, however what I do know is, no matter how good you are there is always room for improvement and there are always people who can help.

I will totally respect the company and not deal with any potential writer direct. It will be via this company, but require a more direct contact, if this is not acceptable to the company, please let me know and I will continue via this route. But I urge the company to email me with any proposals they may have to assist this project.

I have not read this email, predictive txts are sometimes a nightmare so if I have typed knob or twat, don't take it personally.

Kind regards and contact me, please DATE AND MORE COMPREHENSIVE REQUIREMENTS


.