Short description of quotes.

I need short description of quotes for my directory of funny quotes.
Directory I divided on categories like:

1. Funny quotes about advice
2. Funny quotes about alcohol
3. Funny quotes about diet
4. Funny quotes about life
5. Funny quotes about marriage
6. Funny quotes about men
7. Funny quotes about money
8. Funny quotes about people
9. Funny quotes about sex
10. Funny quotes about voice
11. Funny quotes about women
12. Funny quotes about work
13. Funny quotes about family
14. Funny quotes about home
15. Funny quotes about cheating
16. Funny quotes about divorce
17. Funny quotes about friendship
18. Funny quotes about character
19. Funny quotes about snobbery
20. Funny quotes about ego

So I need you to write short description to each category about 100 words long, description need to be funny or interesting to read and should contain “funny quotes” keyword max 3 times.

So I need 20 descriptions (one to each category) about 100 words long.
Please contact me if you have any quoestions.