Fake "The Guardian" Front Page for an A3 Humorous Poster Gift

I need a graphic designer to produce a mock up of The Guardian newspaper front page (UK) (similar to sample attached). The final product should be A3 sized and suitable for printing.

The headline article will be about a fake Art (and Digital Privacy) Scandal and feature images of the Art involved, Edward Snowden and Brian Sewell. There was a funny incident in which a terrible stick drawing (attached) I drew for a discussion about lockdown at my work appears to have been ripped off and developed into an image that is now for sale across the internet *(I don't really think it was but the co-incidence was quite funny). The image will be framed and given to a friend of mine as a gift.

Other headlines might be ""I couldn't get any Aloe Vera toilet roll" - and other 2020 disasters" "Top 10 Hummus Recipes - with & without quinoa" . I'm also really looking for some further ideas that would be amusing, which we could discuss in our initial call.

I will provide copy text and images.

Preference will be given to people based in the UK and someone with a sense of humour.

I've had a go in MS Word to give you a very rough idea of what I had in mind but I expect the finished product to be much more professional and look more like the image of the The Guardian provided.

We would have an initial Zoom call to discuss the brief and ensure we get clarity and agree timescales. I hope that we'll be able to get this done in as few review/iterations as possible but it is essential that your price includes some consideration for edits.