A4 Brochure finishing off urgently.

I need some design work for a brochure finishing off. I am behind schedule through no fault of my own.
If you want the work then DO IT.
If you take it on then FINISH IT.
If you CAN"T COPE
do not advertise on this site because you do no justice to all the other hard working designers that need the work!
If you do not have the skills or experience to do the job professionally and on time
DO NOT BID for the job as this will only waste your time but more importantly MINE.
I also require an individual that is NOT 9-5pm, or Monday-Friday.
You need to be flexible and contactable. We all have mobiles for emails...right!
I'm hoping this has scared most of you, it was meant to.
So if you're FREE NOW and over the weekend then lets get on with it.
I will send over a brief to any individuals that are up for what is in essence a straight forward job... If you've taken offence at this posting then you're not for me. If you've read it and thought "Well said", then you know where I'm coming from and we'll get along just fine.
We can agree a price once you've had the brief and decide you can do it!