Stand up comedy writer needed

Looking for someone who can write a five minute comedy intro to my psychic show. I am a great improv comic, its what I say when I walk out on stage and to warm the audience before I start on 'Derrin Brown' style demonstrations.

I am happy to give you what I have used so far and see how it can be polished. I like life observation comedy, humour we can all relate to. I also use spiritual philosophy as part of the show.

The show has been performed in London, San Francisco and New York.

"Some people go to see a Psychic and take their advice and words very seriously.
Some sceptical people see Psychics as a joke, now… for once, both the sceptic and the believer are right.

Unusual live readings, amazing demonstrations and comedy. Bringing back the Psychic side show.
Quick witted show, at a fast pace. Jaw dropping accurate readings, spiritual, humorous life facts."