Copywriting and blogs

Hi,

I'm a freelancer based in Nottingham.

Expertise: Web and iOS (iPhone/iPad) apps.

Requirement: copy writing for the website, for:

1) the projects I'm going to be listing (max. 9 projects - no more than 50 words each.. shorter the better - ideally 35 words)*
2) About us (no more than 60 words)**
3) at least 3 blogs relating to 'brand communication' (style: very little text with lots of pictures).

Want to launch the website w/c 12 sept - so, ASAP please.

* I'll provide the project and other details once the project goes ahead.

** I want the copy to be quirky, humorous and bit 'offending' - yes, offending. e.g.: if someone is on the site looking for a basic website, they should be booed away!

ta!